3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Harsh On Yourself
There are many reasons to challenge yourself. Not letting yourself be satisfied so that you can keep going harder. While this can be highly effective in many cases, it is not a sustainable way to approach life. Because it makes you overly self-critical. And when you are too hard on yourself for a long time, your mental health starts getting affected. Here are three reasons why being too harsh on yourself is not ideal.
1. It’s an added pressure
You’re already dealing with a lot of pressure from society and circumstances. When you don’t give yourself self-care and compassion, you’re basically adding another weight on your shoulders. It would eventually lead to anxiety and breakdown. No one can be perfect all the time. On some days, you shine, and on others, you do not. But you need to love yourself on both days. You do not have a reason to hate yourself because that won’t turn your failure into success. You have to acknowledge that you haven’t met your goals. Take a moment to dig deeper, reflect, and figure out why things didn’t go as planned. This self-reflection helps you understand what went wrong and why you couldn’t execute a plan the way you wanted to.
And you will know the reasons. You cannot beat yourself up over anything and everything. How do you expect the world to forgive you if you cannot forgive yourself?
2. Anxiety and mental health
The reason why you are being too hard on yourself is because you want to be better. But you will become more anxious when you do not give yourself the space to grow. You will overthink, and ultimately, you will go back to square one. Your confidence will be shattered, and remember, you can never be good at anything when you are not confident. Your mind will become a battleground of self-doubt and negative self-talk, eroding self-esteem and self-worth.
You need to stop comparing yourself with another. Some people get to run without speed bumps, while some have to walk on unpaved roads, but they both succeed. You have to tell yourself, ‘It is fine. Today we couldn’t, but tomorrow, we will. If we fail even tomorrow, we will try harder the next day.’ But being anxious all the time will lead to burnout. So, what began as a pursuit of success will start to feel like punishment.
3. Strained relationships
Being too hard on yourself affects your mental state and can strain your relationships with others. Constant self-criticism and a lack of self-acceptance can lead to heightened defensiveness, difficulty trusting others, and an inability to communicate effectively. When you are overly critical of yourself, you might inadvertently project that critical mindset onto those around you, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Moreover, if you’re overly critical of yourself, you could struggle to accept compliments or recognize your accomplishments. This can be tough for your loved ones and coworkers who truly want to rejoice in your victories. Learning to be more forgiving and compassionate towards yourself can improve your mental well-being and foster healthy relationships.
I am not asking you to indulge yourself or be too forgiving of yourself. But know when to stop with the self-reprimanding. It’s not an overnight process. It takes time to acknowledge your feelings and to love and respect yourself. You need to make a list of your wins and broaden the definition of success. Embracing your imperfections, setting realistic goals, and treating yourself with the same empathy you offer others can also lead to a fulfilling life.
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